They do it with meows...

"Woke up and went to the kitchen, and found two pairs of eyes staring at me. A menacing growl alerted me to a third presence. I turned around and looked in her eye. She had a sinister look about her, but i couldn't be sure. Hmm..."

"The kittens are very cute and the cat is also trying to endear herself by resorting to acts like meowing sweetly and sitting near me, occasionally brushing, nudging herself closer to me. But i am wary, trying not to fall to her charms, but its proving difficult day by day... "


"I find myself buying milk... not for myself but for her highness and her minions."

"Her looks have become more and more menacing... She has that lordly swagger when she roams in the house."

"Initially i thought we would be adopting them, but i think its the other way round now. She has that smug look about her, about a job well done. Her meows have become more and more patronizing. Her ploys have succeeded it seems... Resistance seems to be futile... Dont know how much longer i can hold out..."

Few days later...
He cradled the kittens in his arms, removed the baby bottle with warm milk and put them to sleep in a specially modified box.
The takeover was complete.

A thought...

Don’t we need an oprah type show in India…? You can copy all other kinds of sensationalist (s)hit shows but the one show that can really matter you don’t take ‘inspiration’ from… Instead of having all celebrity chat shows cant we have normal people coming up and sharing their inspirational stories..? On primetime. Wouldn't it make a difference to the lives of millions of Indians to hear about inspiring stories of people like them? How 'ordinary' people overcame their addictions, fought against abuse, for their rights... Wouldnt the story of a normal person overcoming cancer, or of a person who doesnt have much to live but is doing what he can to make the world a better place, a woman having courage to speak out against abuse and atrocities... wouldn't this empower people? Wouldn't you want to know why exactly do young people end up joining rogue outfits like the MNS? Get a young recruit on national tv and ask him why... If you get celebrities on your show then instead of asking them their current relationship status ask them about their struggle to get there... jeena isi ka naam hai was pretty good there i think... but we'll probably get another rendition of big boss or is jungle se mujhe bachao...

...

beauty lies in the eye of the bee holder... am off to catch some bees... maybe my eye will become beautiful...

random stuff

Someone asked me to come up with a ‘beautiful’ get well soon message for a girl… I said, "wish you a speedy recovery... is it a boy or a girl... what...? you weren't pregnant? oh..."

“how do I know whats a watch and whats a clock?”

"Try wearing it... if you have trouble reading your own handwriting then hang it on the wall... "

effect of job frustration on cat aspirants...

kirty: why does an odd degree polynomial have odd numbered real roots??

me: because the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42!

kirty: (persisting stiill.. :D) alright..next one...why does every equation of an odd degree has to have a real root atleast?

me: because water is wet.... there are metaphysical and mathematical implications of this.. one of them being that the equation of an odd degree has to have at least one real root..

kirty (getting into it now...): i admire u now...next one...why all continuous functions are not always differentiable

me: coz of the butterfly effect... even a small value in the initial conditions can lead to abrupt and large cumulative changes in the differentiability of a function...

kirty: i am stoned now!

me: why... did medusa look at you??

kirty: well in that case i would have done a perseus

me: well played!

kirty: can ya find the mid point of a line segment without using a scale...only allowed instrument is a compass and a pencil(if it qualifies as an instrument)

me: yes...! :P

Best opening lines to a girl...

pandey: "would you like to armwrestle with me?"

kirty (one amazing guy... we have 'resonance'... once we went crazy over 'rings' ha ha... remember kirty??): "what colour are your eyes?"

me: "eeeeeeeek! there is a big hairy thing on your head!!!" "oh.. that IS your hair..."

kirty: "oh maaa god...ya remind me of my 1st girl friend...my count is zero as yet"

navdeep (our sardar ) : "I think u need a shave"

kirty: "well pandey is my friend!!"

pandey: "I am the pandey u have heard about"

me: "have you heard about pandey?? well i haven't!"

sample of the craziness

background: the forum had gone quiet for an hour or so... which is so unusual an occurrence that you have a better chance of seeing raj/bal thackeray giving zardari a hug...

gaurav anand (aka pandey which he hates being called that but obviously we still call him that): where is navdeep and malviya????????
kahan ho sab ke sab..................

ameya (our saviour in mumbai... what would we have done without him and his car :) ) :

Laambi Judaaaiiii
.....saaat dino kaaa.....pyaaar ho rabba....badi

pandey: dil hoom hoom kare khabraye
dil hoom hoom kare darr jaye

me (abhi... my intro would fill pages n pages... dwarfing the lord of the rings series so i guess i'll leave that for now):
vaise that manisha koirala nana patekar wali khamoshi was coming on tv a
couple of days back...

(dont ask why i said this... the reasoning involves the basics of string theory and quantum tunneling)

pandey: after such a log gap all you can come up with is this!!!!!!
genius :P
(see...? my genius gets recognized so quickly..!)

me:
well... yeah... :D

meetu (what to say about this gal... she has a great talent for writing poems... and i always tell her that she has a creative bent of mind... and i just have a bent mind):
the best way to forget all ur worries is to wear tight shoes :P

me: but what about the new worry about our feet then?

meetu: i feel like pulling my hair..or perhaps urs..

me: haven't had a haircut in... i think.. one and a half month or so.. so yea.. you can pull mine too..

meetu: abhi..dont provoke me..i might ask vidya to do the task for me..

me: i know you wont... ;) you are way too kind... generous... benevolent...

meetu: n sensible too..to sense ur ways of saving urself :P

me: hehe.. yeah.. and intuitive...

meetu: ya..sixth sense is the only developed sense i have other than nonsense..
does this line make any sense???

me: yeah... many times there is sense in our nonsense... but some times we lack the sense to sense it... :)

pandey: its tough to sense so much of nonsense when i am in my sense so sensefully i am turning into nonsense...
(probably the best of the lot...!)

end of an era?

One thing that really broke my heart over the past few days was the apparent demise of the forum. People getting caught... both literally(by those pesky IT services) and figuratively (caught in work). This was the only thing that kept me going... an outlet for my frustration... a refusal to grow up... is it a coincidence that this demise has coincided with my increasing frustration and restlessness to quit? maybe... maybe not... but definitely a contributing factor. I used to tell my friends so proudly that i breached the 550 mail barrier in my inbox today... some days it even touched 600. Those quizzes... pulling each others legs... those discussions on weird topics... that sarcasm... witty comments... basically going crazy and having fun in the process... i dont think any one else any where else was a part of something like this... something special that we shared... the only thing that motivated me to come to the company in the morning... met some really amazing people... ppl with amazing talent...

yea its plagiarized.. but its good...

Things learnt from the internet

You want it, you can find it online.

If you don’t want it, you can also find it online.

It might take a while.

Sometimes the hunt is half the fun.

Everyone has a website. Grandfathers, mothers and babies. Everyone.

At some point, Google became a verb.

The difference between web surfing with IE and Firefox is the difference between body armor and a trendy cotton vest.

If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

The Internet is the geeks playground. Here, we rule.

Not that you would ever need to know the dietary habits of the South American anteater, but it’s comforting to know you could find it online if you did.

When in doubt, Wikipedia.

Explaining the Internet to someone who’s never been online, is like explaining the Magna Carta to your cat.

Almost everything of substance can be summed up with a “DUDE! Check this out!’ and a hyperlink.

Some else already said it first. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be said again, and again…

There is no such thing as ’sufficient bandwidth’.

There’s always something new.

You can never go back once you’ve tried it.

"Theres been an early breakthrough in the Togo team bus attack.
With over 500 shots fired and only 3 on target, the police have arrested Nani."